Back in 2008, a designer made waves with a brutal, hilarious takedown called “Your Business Card Is Crap.” It’s hilarious – this guy goes on this epic rant about how most business cards are printed on cheap, thin paper with forgettable design. It went viral because it was true—most business cards are rushed, templated, and forgettable. The kind of thing people throw away before they even leave the parking lot.
We hate to break it to you, but the same is true of most branded merch.
Your swag is your real-world brand touchpoint. If it’s cheap, thoughtless, or slapped together last-minute, it’s doing real damage. But there’s good news: it’s fixable.
Here’s how to spot bad corporate swag—and what to do instead.
❌ 1. You Picked from a Random Online Catalog
Generic merch comes from generic thinking. If you’re scrolling page 9 of a supplier site looking for something “good enough,” that’s your first red flag.
Fix it: Start with the why, not the item. What moment are you creating? Who is it for? What do you want them to remember? Then design around that.
❌ 2. You Slapped a Logo On It and Called It a Day
Your merch shouldn’t feel like a billboard. It should feel like something they’d actually want.
Fix it: Use subtle branding, tone-on-tone embroidery, or clever placement. Think of your merch like fashion, not signage.
❌ 3. You Ignored Packaging
We’ve seen $80 worth of great gear ruined by a $0.03 poly mailer. If the unboxing feels lazy, the whole experience does too.
Fix it: Use tissue paper, a custom card, maybe even a sticker seal. Make the delivery match the value.
❌ 4. You Ordered for Your Brand, Not Your People
Just because something matches your brand colors doesn’t mean your team will love it. Your goal isn’t to push the logo—it’s to connect with people.
Fix it: Design for them. Their routines. Their preferences. Their comfort zones. That’s what gets worn and used.
❌ 5. You Rushed the Whole Thing
Last-minute swag always shows. Wrong sizes, missed print areas, delivery drama—it’s not a good look.
Fix it: Work with a partner who can help you plan ahead. (👋 We know a place.)
Your Swag Is a Business Card. Make It Count.
We’re not against business cards—in fact, the ones we use and design at Paired Inc. are not crap. They’re designed, printed, and cut with intention. You can feel the quality. People remember them. But, in all honesty (if you watched that video), they do fit in a Rolodex.
But quality, effectiveness, being memorable — that’s the mindset we bring to BRND. Whether you’re sending a hoodie, a mug, or a notebook—it should feel like a brand moment, not an afterthought.
Ready to Upgrade Your Merch Game?
Let’s make swag that actually gets worn, used, and kept.
0 Comments